Is it just me, or have you noticed that our world is getting weirder? I initially thought that these kind of thoughts were because I was getting chronologically older and possibly, more rigid in my thinking. But no . . . the world is getting weirder!
Even the diagnostic bible for the American Psychiatric Association (DSM-IV) has added more disorders, dysfunctions, and dis-eases to their pages. When I received my doctorate in psychology, I could lift the DSM book in one hand. Today, I can pick up the new version of the DSM-IV not only to understand diagnostic issues but also have the extra benefit of building my biceps.
An important part of my calling demands that I am a people watcher, so I watch people . . . talk to people . . . and hear people. It has actually convinced me that pathology is the new normal for today. One percent of the American population is currently in prison, ten percent have a prison record, and over fifty percent are on some medication to slow you down, speed you up, lift your spirits, or reduce your highs. The other unaccounted masses simply spend time self-medicating with drink, drugs, food, sex, sports, or other temporarily pleasurable activities that numb their personal pain.
Our nation’s leaders engaged in verbal jousting making accusations toward one another with childish tantrums because they know it will be on national television, or at least, talk radio. It doesn’t matter if it is true – a bias ideology trumps what is right. We’ve seen an increasing amount of civil servants that are neither “civil” nor a “servant.”
Work seems a constant tension between the employer and the employees. Leadership or the leader says they want the truth, but the employees really do know that the leadership cannot handle the truth. They will be defensive, offensive, and abusive. Sometimes they will misuse it, or end up blaming someone other than themselves because deadlines or financial goals are not met. It’s getting worse in corporations, not better, in my opinion.
Employees are not immune. Many of them have contracted the same pathological virus. Since they know the way most businesses work, the new normal for these kind of employees are doing less, blaming more, playing on the internet, and demanding their rights instead of focusing on their responsibilities.
In an effort to be accepted, churches have misplaced God’s vision for God’s world by becoming entertainment centers and compromising the ancient practices with slick shtick in order to reach the uninterested masses. However, even if some of the uninterested masses do come, most of them will leave when the show-stopping displays end.
“Tony,” you may say, “it sounds like you’re angry.” I have thought about that and prayed that one through for awhile. Perhaps it is my pathology that has produced a new normal for me! But no, I am not angry – just really sad!
I am sad that we seem to have misplaced our spiritual anchors and have ignored the voices of reason. In today’s society, “yes” doesn’t mean “yes” and “up” can really be “down.” People are confused in thinking that their rights dismiss responsibilities, their money dismisses integrity, and their words dismiss action. We spend an inordinate amount of time justifying, rationalizing, and suppressing the truth. We often live our lives in order to feel good, look good, be in control, or be right. So we lie . . . we lie about others and about ourselves. Our pathology imprisons us. We live in that imprisoned condition so long that we begin to dress up the mirror-less walls with self-made pictures and paint the prison bars bright. But, no matter how we try to beautify our place, we are still in prison.
How do we get out of it? Good question, my friend! I don’t have all of it wired together yet, but I do have some ideas:
One, accept that the “new normal” is really abnormal. Look, don’t believe the stuff on reality TV or TMZ. Parents should want their children, moms should love their kids, dads should be responsible, people should be kind to one another, people should not break the law, people should not steal, leaders should be people of character inspiring, equipping, and encouraging, churches should exist for the sake of others to the glory of God, marriages should be good, genders should be equal, honesty should be the norm, people should give their best at work, and bosses should respect their staff. A boss shouldn’t be yelling or deflating. If you are that way, please stop. If you see that kind of stuff going on, don’t encourage it, and take a stand by speaking the truth in love. So they don’t like you, so what? They really didn’t like you as much as you thought they did. Many times they were not truly the friend you thought they were!
Two, realize that all of us are capable of this pathology. Yes, all of us! Theologians call it “sin,” clinicians call it “addictions,” and mystics call it “attachments.” The scriptures call it, “idolatry.” It is a life that is filled with strife, anxiety, and fear. It is an empty life filled with relationship issues, attitude issues, and trust issues. Because of some paranoia, some people have a volcanic eruption into this pathology. Others simply fall into it by an earthquake experience that befuddles them from the compass that points true north. Still others simply experience erosion, not really noticing that their standards of conduct have changed and their motives have become more self-serving and self-righteous. We all need to be rescued from our condition!
Three, seek to have a ‘world-view” that is consistent with Our Creator. I can hear the non-believers now, “Tony is trying to slam religion down our throats!” Absolutely not! Through the centuries religion has killed more people than any other ideology. Pathological marks within religion are found everywhere and in every place. I am saying that you need to be honest with yourself and get a first-hand look on how God describes Himself as creator, redeemer, healer, and reconciler. Look at the gospels and read the words of Jesus, see his activity, and get to know his heart. When Jesus prayed the last night before his crucifixion, he told us how we can overcome this kind of pathology. He even named the antidote – “eternal life.” He didn’t mean a future event alone; He also meant something that can be experienced right now. Listen to His words: “And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent (John 17:3).” Just ask yourself the question, “what would life be like on earth if it was like heaven?” His world-view, if adopted, will heal our pathology, and provide purposeful living at work, home, or church. It will help us engage honestly and lovingly with both friends and strangers.
Yep, pathology is the new normal. I used to think I was an expert in dysfunction. In fact, many years ago I got so good at it that I really tried to put more “fun” into my “dys-fun-ction.” But it didn’t work long term, and it wasn’t really fun. I have messed up more pages of my life than I care to share with you, but one thing I do know. When I am on the same page as my Creator, life becomes LIFE, and love becomes LOVE, and truth becomes TRUTH.
Finding the Way, for the sake of others,
Tony+